Magical Kale Lovers Gifts

'Needs more kale.'

Night of the Latkes

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'What are you eating now?'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

Vegicurious

How Kale Took Over the World

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

'You are what you eat!'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

Eric didn't know it yet, but he was about to fall in love with creamed kale.

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

How Kale Took Over the World

'Have you tried not watching it, sir?'

"I'm staying healthy during lock-down by increasing my consumption of kale. . .the 'K' is silent."

I asked a lady if she wanted to grab a kale smoothie with me. She totally ignored me. Of course she did. Very few ladies are interested in a guy who latches on to the latest fads. It suggests you've got a roving eye, and you'll leave her for someone new later on. Most women like a man who's "classic." Solid. Reliable. Unmoved by the ever-changing winds. That's why I eat nothing but nuts, berries and hippos. If it was good enough for the cavemen, it's good enough for me. I thought cavemen ate bro

Least popular puppet ever: kale monster!

It may be cruel and unusual, but if the boulders don't drive them out, we'll resort to the kale.

"Run, Roslyn! Your kale is out of control!"