Kale Gifts

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"The Just Me Band"

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'What are you eating now?'

'Needs more kale.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

How Kale Took Over the World

REAL ALE for one pint only

Coal Liquefaction Plant...Liquefied Coal Gasification Plant

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'You're going to start home brewing, aren't you?'

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

'I asked for a black and tan. Instead I got a bloody miracle.'

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

Young Love/Elderly love.

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

'You are what you eat!'

Eric didn't know it yet, but he was about to fall in love with creamed kale.

"Livestreaming my music has really helped me to connect with my fan."

How Kale Took Over the World

"I'm staying healthy during lock-down by increasing my consumption of kale. . .the 'K' is silent."

I asked a lady if she wanted to grab a kale smoothie with me. She totally ignored me. Of course she did. Very few ladies are interested in a guy who latches on to the latest fads. It suggests you've got a roving eye, and you'll leave her for someone new later on. Most women like a man who's "classic." Solid. Reliable. Unmoved by the ever-changing winds. That's why I eat nothing but nuts, berries and hippos. If it was good enough for the cavemen, it's good enough for me. I thought cavemen ate bro