Kale Connoisseur Gifts

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'What are you eating now?'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Needs more kale.'

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

Beer Lunch

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

How Kale Took Over the World

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

'Your hanging baskets are looking good this year, Sir Ranolf.'

Huge bug says: 'On the plus side: I no longer know what Kafkaesque means.'

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

Bahrain F1

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'Yummo Toothpaste contains no caffeine, and cleans your teeth better than Coke or Pepsi!'

Oddly familiar formation.

"I'm sure Mistress meant well: The cat on the box is smiling, but I agree, this tastes and smells horrible..."

"Why don't you want me to lay siege to this one? It's got two and a half baths and an eat-in kitchen."

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

'You idiot! That one had chips in it.'

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

'We don't own a shredder. We just hang sensitive material on the furniture and let the cat take care of it.'