Kale Kaleidoscope Lover Gifts

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

A caveman paints from life

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Japanese Whaling

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'Needs more kale.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Don't fillup on plastic, you'll ruin your appetite."

"A road yet uncrossed, My heart takes wing at the sight - The journey is life."

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

"How the hell are we supposed to evolve if they keep pushing us back in?!"

"They say your chances of survival are better sitting in the tail section."

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

"Stop oil!!!"

"I know you adopted me, but who were my biological parents?"

Modern Poetry: Text Message Haiku

"This age will be known as the era of massive weight gain."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"Ah, the beach. My old nemesis."

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

"Ugh...Your father is so embarrassing."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"We rendezvous at 0600 hours. Wear this so I'll recognize you"

'Sequence my genome? They don't even know I exist.'

Save the Files on the Cloud.

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."