Kaleidoscope Gifts

Wavy Navy

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

Scientist seen on loch.

The Steakosaurus

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Currently I've got lemonade, 7% CDs, Discount Brokerage and No Minimum Passbook Savings. I'm going to miss banking deregulation.'

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'Any more bright ideas?'

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

Octopus gets tickled pink

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Crime

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"Nobody leave this room."

"Be quiet Carl, you're scarin' the fish!"

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

Liposuction: Help Wanted.

Weak Research

'It appears that he was given payback by his trophies.'

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

"Then don't do that."

'I don't see the problem.'

'Better call the coroner, Mahoney... I can't tell if this is a homicide or some sicko's idea of romance.'

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

Do Not Laugh At The Bears.

Frosty Had It Coming, See?

"It's not the first time this cartoonist has struck, Watson. I've seen this signature before."

"Just as I suspected, this man is obese."

"You're all arms Rodney."