Kettle Connoisseur Gifts

'What does it mean when steam comes out of a kettle?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

Too much cilantro

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

A Day In The Kitchen

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Next Round Indicator

'Malty tasking.'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Do you have an Isa?"

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

About the potter.

'I think he's had it with dry dog food.'