Kibble Connoisseur Gifts

Although they would both act horrified by the mix-up, Bob had secretly known for a few minutes.

Dinner Time!

"I'm sure Mistress meant well: The cat on the box is smiling, but I agree, this tastes and smells horrible..."

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Trail mix?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Cereal Tasting.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Future Wrestler

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

Fido and Fifi

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'Popcorn? Sure. Would you like huge, mega, super-duper huge or gigundazillion multi multi really insanely huge?'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"We're out of empanadas!"

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

The Butcher of 35th street.

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'