Kite Conqueror Gifts

Kite Fail

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

A Learning Curve.

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

"Woohoo, we have have overcome the wave!"

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

'Outta my way, you little puke!'

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

Speleologist

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

Capitalism trying to ride the waves.

"How's your blogging going?"

"My latest book has so far failed to make a dent in any of their charts, e-book or normal."

"Did we remember to get that thing we came here for?"

King of the Mountain

UFO Kite

"On the plus side we're going to put your head in formaldehyde and auction it for charity."