Plant Warrior Gifts

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Cat in a tank...

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

"You have sewage between your teeth."

"I will avenge you, Father."

"We're out of bags."

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"The white powder is supposed to stop me, but I find it makes the leaves more delicious than ever."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

The Last Flower

Global warming.

Wind Energy Systems Inc.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

Planet earth was again safe, Lenny a true hero and his brussel sprouts, for one, not wasted!!'