Weed Wrangler Gifts

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'First weeds of spring.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Dissectum Paniculata

Fish don't like worms.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

Leaf blowers at dawn.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

Leaf rake - wider than space

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

Menace.

Christo's greatest challenge.

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.