Weed Wrangler Gifts

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Fish don't like worms.

Dissectum Paniculata

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

Leaf blowers at dawn.

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

Leaf rake - wider than space

Joe Strummer in his garden...

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

Christo's greatest challenge.

Menace.

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

"I was trying to grow roses, but I got hit by the 'bluebonnet' plague."

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."