Wedding Wizards Gifts

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

'Yes! I can tell you why these two shouldn't be married. They stole those outfits from my formal wear store!'

"My mistress loves me alright: I was the ring-bearer at her wedding..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Boat wedding.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Shakespeare Quote

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

Counseling $10. This end up. I think we're making progress. I want to kill you both.

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Spell-Check Bee

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

"Are we their yet?"

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

Hi. Can a maitre d' marry people, like a ship's captain? ? ? Menu.

We have skule clothes.

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

Author of thought for the day on commitment remains anonymous.