Wedding Whiz Gifts

'Hi! I'm Pastor Bancroft and I'll be tying the knot this evening.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

Sub Editor

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'You're hired. Go figure.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Ernest Hemingway

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

The Connoisseur.

After years of searching, the gingerbread man is finally reunited with his biological parents

Penfriend

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."