Showbiz Whiz Gifts

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

'He was offered a role in a sitcom and has the potential to be a successful child actor. We've already set up a legal defense fund.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

Toenail clipping missile.

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Those are my twins: NASDAQ and Dow. They were born at the height of the dot.com boom.'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

Kid selling lemonade has a picture of the founder: himself

'You're hired. Go figure.'

An overachieving headless chicken.

Boarway Show

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

New-Car Shopping with Arianna Huffington: 'She says if we give her a car, she'll give us exposure by driving it around.'

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'You showbiz types can never make intelligent conversation!'

"It's a graph of economic recovery...which way up do you want it?"

Magic Accident

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

There's been a misundertanding-we're advertising for GAGSTERS!'