Wine Whiz Gifts

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

If they raise the price of liquor one more time, it will drive me to drink!.

'I turned water into wine. It's a mixed blessing.'

'If nothing else, you've got to admire their candor.'

The Connoisseur.

"I need a wind to go with dinner tonight. What pairs well with dirt?"

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The first car accident.

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Modern kite for wind energy.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Keith Floyd.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

The Invention of the Wheel

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

Portfolio, 2011

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'I need both hands for steering.'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.