Grape Whiz Gifts

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

The Connoisseur.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

"Why do we lose our leaves in the fall - I'm cold all winter."

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"Hardscrabble"

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

'If nothing else, you've got to admire their candor.'

Best wines book

'How about a cream pie? A cream pie might work.'

Wine tasting for beginners

"I can't go"

George doesn't let his asthma get in the way of his playing the tuba in the school band.

"Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means." "Certainly. K-4/7....5T"