Website Whiz Gifts

"Maybe now the damned search engines will find us."

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

Examinations.

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"What's that you're reading?"

I've always been slower than computers...

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'