Web Whiz Gifts

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

'I had my web page redesigned.'

'No, I was actually looking for a cool little 'widget.'

'Bobby? Oh, I bought him out!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Evolution.

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Gadget geek.

Nerd tryouts.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'My dog ate my computer.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

Otto the SmartyCar!

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Technologies and distance classes