Online Whiz Gifts

OMG, that is so offensive! Prove You're Not A Robot.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Gadget geek.

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

I've always been slower than computers...

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"What's that you're reading?"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Hey, everyone! Guess who forgot his password?'