Wireless Whiz Gifts

"I tried living in an ant farm once. Couldn't get Wi-Fi on the lower levels."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

Math Teacher

Prawn Amend

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

Networking

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

'I think we've been the victim of a cyber attack.'

"Hardscrabble"

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"