Smartwatch Whiz Gifts

Norman was still getting used to his new smartwatch.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

"Hey Siri, why does my neck hurt?"

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

"Hardscrabble"

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'Hey! Who picked out all the odds!'

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't we be learning how to operate software that can solve that problem?'

'And this wearable smartwatch sends a text to my wearable smartglasses to let me know when I'm not wearing any pants.'

"Look, it even shows how much time I'm wasting on silly gadgets."

'Hi. I'm a new dad. Do you have an app for that?'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'