Smartwatch Whiz Pillows

Norman was still getting used to his new smartwatch.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Hardscrabble"

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'Hey! Who picked out all the odds!'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't we be learning how to operate software that can solve that problem?'

"Look, it even shows how much time I'm wasting on silly gadgets."

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'