Phone Whiz Gifts

'Hi. I'm a new dad. Do you have an app for that?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Math Teacher

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

"What's that you're reading?"

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'How fast can you hype?'

I've always been slower than computers...

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.