Communications Whiz Gifts

'It from my wife, Says 'our teepee on fire','

'How fast can you hype?'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Staff support"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Out and In.

"Google car."

Evolution.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Letter Collecting Nerd

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

Twitter censorship

Otto the SmartyCar!

Technologies and distance classes

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'Let us pray...'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters