Wifi Whiz Gifts

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Math Teacher

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

Networking

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

"If you can't bring me cash, bring me stuff I'll be able to sell on eBay.!

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"Hardscrabble"