Computer Whiz Gifts

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."

Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'

'Help!'

'I have to do my homework now, Mom, I'll help you with the computer when I finish.'

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

'He wants a system with lots of memory,but without a mouse.'

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

'You spend 90 hours a week on that computer so as your best friend, it's my responsibility to tell you to GET A LIFE!'

"I'm making sure my hard drive's car of any data."

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'

'It could be that it's not plugged in, but that would be too easy.'

'Mayday, mayday, we have lost control.'

"They found a defect in the new chip. Looks like someone was asleep at the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny switch."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"Keep your eyes on your own screen."

"We're in, the Pentagon Christmas party guest list"

Devil to computer salesman: 'Does it come with firewire'

"Cancel that call to tech-support. This may be beyond their capabilities."

U.S. Military Recruitment: We're looking for a few good men and women who can hack!"

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

Error 404: Image not Found.

'It's an optical illusion. From the front of the room, they're all busy students working on computer projects. From here though they're all busy playing internet games.'

Human Error, Stupid (computers)

"I see your problem"

"Hold it! That's not what they mean by 'reboot'."

'Dude, you spend 90 hours a week on that computer. So, as your best friend, I feel it's my responsibility to say to you - GET A LIFE.'

"If I acquire tech skills, I'll be too valuable to be someone's Thanksgiving feast."

'Thanks, screen saver, but I already have it in sleep mode.'

'That's the workstation we use for district assessment scoring, or on a slow day, for playing solitaire.'

Computerized House

Computer: 'Not guilty by reason of electronic manipulation.'