Computer Wiz Gifts

"I'll give you a moment."

"Since I know technology and not cars, I'll put it in terms that I know - my offline browser has been disabled."

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Evolution.

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Nerd tryouts.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

The Digital Family

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

Otto the SmartyCar!

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

Technologies and distance classes

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'