Computing Wiz Gifts

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

I've always been slower than computers...

"What's that you're reading?"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

Tech support...can I help you!

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

'Hey, everyone! Guess who forgot his password?'

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.