Tech Whiz Gifts

"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."

'You drive a Japanese car, drink French wine, eat Chinese food, own an American computer, buy Canadian lumber and vacation in Mexico. How can you be AGAINST free trade?!'

Evolution.

'Burnout' (head exploded).

'We need to upgrade our computer system like yesterday.'

Databank - 'If you did it, we know about it.'

'And he thinks I'm slow!'

'Last month's technology' bin next to electronics store.

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'What kind of internet-start-up camp are you going to this summer?'

"Hank's our security guy."

'This will photograph it, check our global position, scroll our database, name it, text details,play music and oops - the battery's gone dead.'

'Your IT guy knows his stuff, but he's terrible at teaching it to other people.'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'I won't be logging in today. Forgot my password.'

"Oh no, we need Tech Support!"

'Okay, I won't call the baby-sitter if you promise to spend the whole evening working on my web site.'

"Now I can talk on the phone and trample people to death at the same time."

"I'll help you with your English homework if you help me with my iPhone, computer, iPad, Netflix. . ."

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"After being lost in the desert for days, I'd think your first request would be for water, not a phone charger."

"For tonight's lecture I'm going to stick to the program. I have to. I'm a robot."

"I should pass computer class this year, Mom! I helped the Principal remove malware from his computer!"

'Hey did you get those 15 funny emails that I sent to you and 43 of my other best friends???'

'This won't hurt a byte...'

Early Tech Support

Computer nerd sits at do-it-yourself upgraded computer.

Man visits N.H.S. website and discovers that both he and his computer have viruses.

'My business card is large to accommodate my website URL, email, Twitter address, Facebook address, fax number, voice mail, private line number, cell number and Tumbir address.'

Wi-Fi password?

'We're only ten tech support calls away from another free pizza!'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

Password and Passkey Security.