Tech Workshop Whiz Gifts

4 videoconference users

"We only got six days of funding."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Evolution.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Multi-tasking.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Man doing a search on a computer

"Lovely dovetail."

'My dog ate my computer.'

Why do you need so many computers?

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!