Tech-savvy Whiz Gifts

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"A virus ate my homework."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

The Thinker (with a laptop).

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

Go on! Pick a card.

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Rodin's 'The Computer.'

This Cave Updated Daily.

"Buy my data $20"

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

Websiteless -- please help.

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."