Tech-savvy Guru Gifts

"This might be a scam."

'This app might be just the thing. It puts you in touch with your inner self.'

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

Computer - 'I see you're on the telemarketers 'do-not-call' list...however, you're not on our 'do-not-spam' list!'

"Miss Jones. Hold all my calls. I'm only accepting tweets today."

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"Today we learn about multitasking, so play on your phones, talk to each other, and listen to me at the same time."

"Duct taping your phone to your head isn't smart, it's being cheap. Go buy a bluetooth."

"I have 130 disciples following me on Twitter."

'Actually, you're lucky to catch me...I'm being replaced by a smart phone.'

'I see your office is as secure as your website.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'He said he sent you two tweets this week.'

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"There he is - Drone Acharya."

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Mozart on a computer,

Robots In The Boardroom

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

The Modern Novel.

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Crocodile Selfie

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Windows or Mac?

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

Den Furniture

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.