Tech Guru Gifts

"Oh, like you know something the Internet doesn't know."

'I've tried to tell Stuart he's over-loading himself with too much information but...'

"Simpson, you promised you wouldn't tell anybody I turned down Bill Gates!"

"So the answer to eternal happiness isn't an upgrade?"

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Web cams. Web scams

The portion of your brain dedicated to passwords.

Commercial space travel is expensive.

"I'm sorry...but I've just been informed recent technological advances have rendered this course obsolete!"

Stem-cellphone research.

Phishing for cyber information

'Relax...empty your cache...clear your history.'

'Advances in technology are staggering...they can spend ten times as much, four times more quickly for only a tenth of the results.'

"Him?... You're always telling me to find alternative ways to backup my data!"

'Look Dad, I said I needed help with some cutting and pasting and...What are those?'

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

"All this wearable technology, but no wearable socks..."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Ah-ha! I found the problem, dad.'

'You've successfully completed the transaction to sell your soul. A digital receipt will be e-mailed to you.'

"The results of your last project are back and it appears the app you created makes you obsolete."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

'You have smart phone dependency, also known as compulsive communication syndrome.'

"What's your New Year's Resolution?"

"Yes, I did say I needed security and a protector. But I meant for my computer and phone. So, I won't be needing Rocco."

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

Los Alamos Hard Drives

Robots In The Boardroom

'We're not sure, general; either it's an alien invasion, or Intel production workers on their lunch break.'

'I phone therefore I am.'

Whilst installing a new computer programme, Jeff had trouble with the setup wizard.

'Spare parts, mister?'

'Jeffrey didn't like coming to the playground until he found this Wi-Fi hotspot near the seesaw.'

'If I tweet on twitter does that make me a tweeter, a twitterer or just a twit?'

Kid with pet robot at the vets.