Tech Support Guru Gifts

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'I had to jog its memory.'

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Robots In The Boardroom

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Gadget geek.

Computer Expert

The Modern Novel.

If Disney was a software company

Terry had a computer bug.

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Hardware and software

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."