Tech Support Guru Pillows

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'I had to jog its memory.'

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

Gadget geek.

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Terry had a computer bug.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'