Tech Talk Guru Gifts

"Excellent mumbo jumbo, Foster. The computer didn't understand a word of it"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Robots In The Boardroom

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

The Modern Novel.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"We don't talk anymore."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Windows or Mac?

Crocodile Selfie

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

Den Furniture

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

Facelook

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"The results of your last project are back and it appears the app you created makes you obsolete."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

A Meeting of Computer Buffs.

STRIP Hambone: The internet 'Where's it going?'

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.