Tech Talkers Gifts

Text message: You have lettuce in your teeth.

'And to my teenage grandchildren, I leave my unused phone minutes.'

"This app alerts me when I'm being selfish, unsocial or temperamental. I need to change my personality, because it alerts me every minute of the day."

'Is your mouth glad when you're asleep?'

"We don't talk anymore."

"Your cell phone isn't bugged by 'Pegasus'? You're not important enough. . . you loser!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"I am a control freak."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

"It's not you, it's me – I automatically updated overnight and we're no longer compatible."

"No, the computers are up. We're down."

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."