Tech Talk Gifts

"We're lucky! We don't have to learn how to spell, do math, or use maps. And with driverless cars, we won't need to learn how to drive!"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Big Data Tonight

Mark Zuckerberg

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Second lifeReal life.

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

Facelook

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

'Invasion of privacy.'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"