Talk Techie Gifts

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Ascent of Machine.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

All the apps hidden within a phone

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

I've always been slower than computers...

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

The Uses of a Stethoscope

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

Statue of liberty selfie

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'Why not Google it?'

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."

'I need a smarter computer.'