Technical Talkers Gifts

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

Campaign for Plain English

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"We don't talk anymore."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'The stuka brought you.'

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Manual Labor.

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"...this new policy is a credit to mumbo jumbo."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"I am a control freak."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"Baldo, did you finish your homework?"

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'