Technical Talkers Gifts

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

Campaign for Plain English

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'The stuka brought you.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Manual Labor.

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"...this new policy is a credit to mumbo jumbo."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"I am a control freak."

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

"He had a close brush with fame when Scarlett Johansson's chatbot told him to go away."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

'A few years ago that wouldn't have even sounded like a sentence.'

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

"Baldo, did you finish your homework?"

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'