Tech Speaker Gifts

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

In the Guru District

They hated me.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"We don't talk anymore."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'The stuka brought you.'

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

The Design Artiste

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

Information Tightrope.

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

Communication Breakdowns

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'You've done a good job for the company, Roger, but we just need someone who's a little less...analog.'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

One-man band - One-man office

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.