Tech Speaker Gifts

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

In the Guru District

They hated me.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Mark Zuckerberg

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"We don't talk anymore."

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'The stuka brought you.'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

Information Tightrope.

The Design Artiste

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

Communication Breakdowns

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'You've done a good job for the company, Roger, but we just need someone who's a little less...analog.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

Maybe I should subscribe to the newspaper again.