Tech Specialist Gifts

'It won't take bitcoins.'

'Does it have colour?'

'The beauty of this system is that there are a few small errors programmed into it, which helps to avoid local depersonalization.'

Power theft on mobile phones

"This is my last shift, I've been replaced by some bitch called Alexa."

'Welcome to our store,,,now take me to your leader'

Hot dog cart next to a hot spot cart.

STRIP Hambone: Micro computer salemen

'This unit doesn't come with a GPS, but it does come with a bag of breadcrumbs.'

"We offer several Cloud Storage solutions."

Last chance to breakdown before smart motorway.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

In the Guru District

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Googler

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Can our software do that?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."