Tech Professional Gifts

"...Coulda been huge, man."

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're both holograms - I assumed you knew each other."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

The Paleo-Information Age/The Information Age/The "Whoa, Too Much Information!" Age.

1 message reviewed by NSA.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?'

"Apparently we've introduced unconscious bias writing our algorithms."

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'Now there's a bad case of the megabytes!'

I'm going to recommend a tech company that is so far ahead of the curve, it's working on Web 3.0.

"I bought this online for only 350 bucks! With its spiritual power it protects me from dubious online shops!"

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"Sorry. I think I just pressed 'shuffle.' "

I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.

"All in favor, say, 'A.I.'."

"Nobody understands me!"

4 videoconference users

Office Productivity Fail - Treadmill Workstations

Advice to ignore man who is into wire-based technology.

"Rest assured, the days when robots take over from humans are still a long way off."

"You will be the man responsible for our digital content."

Email

A lesson on the dangers of being online.

"I have no weekend plans. I only exist within the context of this zoom call and when you hang up I will die."

"I've just been replaced by an app..."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"I'm just checking my inbox."

"This candidate is completely qualified, but I don't think his ping-pong skills are quite what we're hoping for."

Hooked on technology

Doors labelled 'Mechanical Resources', and 'Human Resources

"Now you can buy stuff online while you get your cash. It's called Amazon total Marketing."

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."