Tech Professional T-Shirts

"...Coulda been huge, man."

"You want to join a start-up? Are you mad?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're both holograms - I assumed you knew each other."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

The Paleo-Information Age/The Information Age/The "Whoa, Too Much Information!" Age.

1 message reviewed by NSA.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?'

"Apparently we've introduced unconscious bias writing our algorithms."

Global reach

"Nobody understands me!"

"All in favor, say, 'A.I.'."

I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.

"Sorry. I think I just pressed 'shuffle.' "

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"I bought this online for only 350 bucks! With its spiritual power it protects me from dubious online shops!"

I'm going to recommend a tech company that is so far ahead of the curve, it's working on Web 3.0.

'Now there's a bad case of the megabytes!'

Facebook Privacy

"You are found guilty of privacy, aggravated privacy and the exercise of privacy with intent to conceal."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"I've just been replaced by an app..."

"I have no weekend plans. I only exist within the context of this zoom call and when you hang up I will die."

"Before we start the meeting, please turn off all mobile drones."

A lesson on the dangers of being online.

Email

"You will be the man responsible for our digital content."

"Rest assured, the days when robots take over from humans are still a long way off."

'Without my laptop, my cell phone, my beeper and my Blackberry, I wouldn't have time for a life.'

Google signwriter.

Advice to ignore man who is into wire-based technology.

Office Productivity Fail - Treadmill Workstations

4 videoconference users