Tech Expert Gifts

'He's my smart due. He's going to hand around for a couple weeks, and teach me how to use my new smart phone.'

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The DaVinci Code

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Elfie Stick

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

If nobody had invented graphics

Robots In The Boardroom

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

The Modern Novel.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Dad Trophies

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Big screen TV falling through floor

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."