Tech Expert Gifts

'He's my smart due. He's going to hand around for a couple weeks, and teach me how to use my new smart phone.'

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

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In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The DaVinci Code

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Elfie Stick

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

If nobody had invented graphics

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Big screen TV falling through floor

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Dad Trophies

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'