It Expert Gifts

"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."

Al's Computer Salvage.

Will Hack For Food

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

The Computer Bore

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The Googler

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Can our software do that?'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Gadget geek.

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."