Tech Guy Gifts

"I'd eat him, but do you know how hard it is to find a good tech guy?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

The DaVinci Code

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Claus 2.0

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Ascent of Machine.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

If nobody had invented graphics

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

Elfie Stick

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'