Tech-savvy Talker Gifts

'...For someone who really cares call your mother.'

"He doesn't talk much. But whatever you do, don't give him your phone number. He will blow up your text."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Did you get my tweet?"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"We don't talk anymore."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

The Thinker (with a laptop).

The Web is mightier than the sword.

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.