Tech-savvy Friend Gifts

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Be careful! It could be a phishing mail!'

Identity Theft.

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'It's not encryption software. His emails are just that incoherent.'

"Mom, tell me again about the times you didn't have to tap 'Add' when you made a new friend."

"Would you mind talking to me for a while? I forget my cell phone."

Zoom chat

Twitter Pet

Status update...

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"

'Notice that in the digital age, nobody carries family photos anymore? Luckily, I always keep CDs and a laptop handy.'

Missing the human touch.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the E-Mailman from the swift completion of his appointed rounds.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Broken Doorbell - Please Text or Email.

Graduation Day at Drone School

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name

Please find the money I owe you attached to this e-mail.

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"No wonder you're exhausted. You are manually dialing your phone numbers. I programmed them in for you."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

The Selfie of Dorian Gray

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

"Agreed, church attendances have tanked, but you've picked up a sizable following on instagram."

"Hello Auntie Maureen... Hello whoever's monitoring the call."

"This is silly, love. All this fuss because your mobile phone died."

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

"He's the social media member who chooses to remain anonymous."

I closed all my rings yesterday, Randy! What do you mean? On my Apple Watch. If you move enough, stand enough and work out enough during the day, colorful rings close on the watch face. I see. Impressive, little buddy. What'd you do, go for a long run? Do 100 situps? An hour of cardio? Fun fact, totally not related: If the watch notices you're not moving, standing or working out it lowers the amount of time it takes to close the rings. Less impressive.

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi

So you know my age and that I like Scrabble and that I may at one point have purchased foot cream? Of course. You're on Facebook. It's a terrific way to let the world know who you are. What about my privacy? Your what? Privacy?! Not familiar. Can you spell it?

New to selfies? Pick a style!

"Should I hit 'CROSS' or 'LIKE'?"

"Today we'll reverse roles. I'll provide information - you'll make decisions."