Techie Friend Gifts

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

Recycling bin for iPads.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Mac OS 20

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

The Smartass Phone

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"This chasing stick app makes things so much easier."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"You have the right to one phone call, or one cell phone call, or one pager call, or one e-mail!"

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

"Do I put google maps on driving or walking directions?"

'Oh no, not another tweet!'

New to selfies? Pick a style!

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'Newly discovered binary love letter from Bill Gates to his high school sweetheart.'

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

Missing the human touch.