Techie Friend Gifts

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"This chasing stick app makes things so much easier."

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"You have the right to one phone call, or one cell phone call, or one pager call, or one e-mail!"

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

New to selfies? Pick a style!

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'

'So are you seeing anyone?'

Missing the human touch.

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"