Gadget-loving Friend Gifts

'You really need one of these! It's the latest craze!'

Mac OS 20

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"My desk-top computer doesn't know what my back seat computer is doing!"

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

Robot surgery.

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Automatic swing machine